The Sensuality Deception, Balancing Hormones and the Head

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and guys use love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles analyze great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther because for these songs, having sex brings immense significance and consequences.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they believe sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will be excellent as well).

B.more typically, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), makings the chance to make love with somebody we are drawn in to extremely tough to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , leading to powerful feelings of attraction, enjoyment, well-being, closeness, and love .

However when issues develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is great!" They probably would not confess it, but they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay men, states that a lot of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys especially in urbane locations, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".

Nonetheless, North includes, "I presume this is a ' man' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is important. Chemistry is a given that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow gradually.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication subsides and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means combining chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is essential for a sustainable see this site relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, values, requirements, and objectives -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!

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