The Sensuality Temptation, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and men utilize love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles analyze great sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther since for these singles, having sex brings enormous meaning and effects.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will ready too).

B.more typically, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body responds to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), which makes the chance to make love with somebody we are attracted to exceptionally tough to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), that makes us feel very near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are strong and uncontrolled , causing effective feelings of destination, enjoyment, closeness, well-being, and love .

When problems develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is great!" They more than likely would not admit it, however they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, states that a lot of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men especially in urbane areas, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on like it physical look, encourages sexual activity. Numerous gay guys want to find out from the beginning if a prospective partner is going to be sexually compatible. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be excellent?".

North includes, "I believe this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to point find more info out that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a provided that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though sometimes it can grow with time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears away and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with common sense. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, goals, requirements, and values -- while feeling all those interesting sparks!

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