The Sex Catch, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and men use love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs interpret great sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther because for these singles, having sex carries enormous significance and repercussions.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will be excellent as well).

B.more frequently, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), which makes the chance to have sex with somebody we are attracted read the article to very hard to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), that makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , resulting in effective feelings of destination, excitement, love, wellness, and nearness .

When issues emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is fantastic!" They more than likely would not confess it, however they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay males, states that many of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay you can try this out males particularly in city locations, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

However, North includes, "I think this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to point out that chemistry is very important. read what he said Chemistry is a given that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though sometimes it can grow with time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, goals, values, and requirements -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!

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